Testimonials

Stan Bailey
Tom Carr
Janelle Odishoo
Andy Lee

Stan Bailey

Finding a place to be ~ Absolute vulnerability. Total dependency. These describe life stages that come around in their purest forms at least once for everyone: when we are babies. For some, this stage is relived much, much later in life through advanced Alzheimer’s disease. A baby in her father’s arms and my mother at my side: both absolutely dependent, totally vulnerable.

There are huge differences, however, in how families and society react to these two stages. With a baby, there is wonderment, hope, a sense of duty, sacrifice. Care is intense and vigilance is constant. In contrast, the Alzheimer’s patient does not always inspire the same feelings from others. Wonderment turns into discomfort; hope into despair; duty and sacrifice, rethought.

It is just my mother and me. (The rest of our family lives in Texas.) When she asks me who I am, and why she is “here,” which is never anywhere she can recognize, I tell her I am her son, “Stan Bailey, in the flesh.” I add that we are like “two peas in a pod,” “two bugs in a rug.” These words soothe her, and she responds on cue, “Take care of me. I don’t know where I am.”

I will take care of her. However, I am not alone. I have a partner in Irvine Adult Day Health Services. I literally do not know what I would do without them. When my mother is there, I know that her dependency is at least temporarily transferred, and her vulnerability shielded. Moreover, my mother’s personhood is nourished, and her body is exercised. When she is in good spirits, which is almost always, she will often say in her singsong way, “I want to dance; I want to prance.” She does both at IADHS, and much more. Alzheimer’s is tough. I am glad I found a partner.

Tom Carr

Hallie found the love and care that she needs at Irvine Adult Day Health Services. Around three years ago, my mom Hallie (a level four Alzheimer’s patient) was a victim of caregiving gone wrong. In 2007 she fell down in her own back yard and broke her hip. She spent five hours alone on the ground before my 87 year old dad (her caregiver) decided to look for her and finally found her. When he did find her, my dad recruited the neighbors to help him drag my mom to a recliner chair in their living room. She spent the entire night in agony. No one called 911. The following day I found out about her situation and worked with her doctor to dispatch an ambulance to transport her to a hospital where she received successful hip replacement surgery. It only took my mom a remarkable three months to recover from her hip replacement. Meanwhile, my dad’s health went downhill. My mom spent days hovering over him in various hospitals. In 2008 my dad died. As a result, I had to move my mom out of her house and into my own home. In a short period of time, she lost her husband, her home, and her smile.

After my dad’s death, the subject came up of how to care for my mom. Some in our family wanted to place her in a memory unit environment and others considered the possibility of hiring home care companions.

My mom’s doctor recommended that we take a look at the Irvine Adult Day Health Services program. I’m happy to say that we did take a look at the IADHS program and we liked what we saw. The staff is warm, caring, loving, and friendly. Their daily activities stimulate many of my mom’s interests such as gardening, painting, and socializing. She loves the group discussions at IADHS, as well as the quality of the people in the groups. She always remarks at how well everyone gets along with one another. My mom is highly social and she has found a new home at IADHS. 

Now we’re able to keep mom home at night and turn her over for care to the staff at IADHS during the day. She smiles and laughs a lot now.

Janelle Odishoo

Being an only child, I knew that at some point my mother, Beverly, would live with my family and me.  I would care for her needs as she aged and keep her at home with us as long as possible.  I graduated from USC with a degree in Gerontology and was a nursing home administrator for several years before my husband and I became entrepreneurs and started a family.  When Beverly started falling and lived alone, I knew it was time for her to come live with us.  I was destined to be in the sandwich generating, caring for a young child and an aging parent.

I was sure that Beverly’s lungs would fail her at some point having smoked since she was thirteen.  However, after 11 years living with us, she was as healthy as can be but started showing signs of memory loss.  She was getting lost driving and experiencing intermittent confusion.  Even with my extensive health care knowledge, I simply didn’t take the advice that I’d given to so many others.  I allowed my mother to watch TV all day in her nightgown, manage her own medications, and didn’t push her to get out and be active.  I wasn’t ready to reverse our roles and be the parent of my parent.  It was a battle between her and I that she won.

As a result, Beverly became increasingly more combative and depressed.  This woman who was a strong, independent, and mentally tough real estate broker was now reclusive, depressed, and struggling every day to maintain her independence as her body and mind declined from lack of exercise.

After strategizing with her doctor and Jill at IADHS, changing her medications, and mustering up the energy to start the program, my mother began attending the “HEALTH CENTER”.  I was so scared the first day…I cried and cried the same way I did when my daughter went to her first day of school.  I was sure she would hate the food, not relate to the people, and be as combative with the staff as she was with me. 

I can honestly say that it was the BEST decision we made!  My mother absolutely loves the caregivers and the physical therapy she receives 3 days a week.  She enjoys the social interaction and participates in the exercise program.  They are waking up muscles that she hasn’t used in years…and she is sore! 

As the saying goes…the proof is in the pudding!  She is sleeping better, is more positive, and has more energy than ever.  She even got dressed and was out to church with the family on Easter Sunday (her first trip to church in several years!).  Her quality of life is better than ever all because of the staff at the Irvine Adult Day Health Services! 

I know there is a long road ahead with this progressive disease, but now I have a partner to help me keep my mother at home with the family as long as possible.   I have sanity again and can balance work and family life!  I feel truly blessed to have found this program and would highly recommend it to all families with an aging parent experiencing memory loss.

Andy Lee

My mother, Audrey Fuller, having moved here from Florida after the death of her husband, has been living with me, her daughter, for two years. During this time, I have had the privilege of being the lucky listener of the multitudinous stories of her past, more specifically WAY in the past! One of my favorites is her having gone to NYC to stay with her father during her young Richmond Indiana junior high days. She was allowed to go to see a movie by herself while he was at work.  In those days there was "live entertainment" between the movie showings.  Well, she doesn't recall the movie she saw but she does know she saw it three times because Ella Fitzgerald sang between each showing! To honor that special memory I took her to the Laguna Playhouse to see the play about Ella, her life and, obviously, her wonderful songs. Mom knew the words to all of them and did her best to only "mouth" them rather than to sing along!

When Mom's short term memory began to change in major ways, I knew it was time to get some help...both for her AND for me. After attending the Alzheimer's Association's "Savvy Caregiver" classes, I made an appointment with the folks at IADHS and after completing the application processes, Mom, with many reservations, agreed to go. 

To make the process fun and light, we decided to call her destination for three days a week, "Club Irvine!" She now enjoys her social, learning, eating, caring experiences there even though she doesn't remember much of what she had for lunch or what she might have done. But...she remembers a lot of long term challenges while she's there and that keeps her engaged and "ON!" The staff is great and very affirming of Mom's involvement and her "playing nice with others," a phrase I say to her every time I drop her off for her day...makes her laugh! As for me, I attend the Caregivers Support Group which meets the second and fourth Wednesdays of each month at IADHS and find that experience invaluable in my own journey of learning how to be a patient and knowledgeable caregiver given the Mother/daughter role reversals Mom and I have had to learn in the process of Alzheimer's challenges.

My daughter and her family also are so very grateful for having Granny/Great Granny be in their Irvine life and times and are learning a lot about how to be "present" and helpful with Mom...great intergenerational experiences. My two brothers live on the East Coast and appreciate Club Irvine's contribution to the community...and to me as they can't be here very often. 

So we all say...thanks Irvine Adult Day Health Services for helping us during these challenging times of caring for Mom in supportive, caring and safe experiences.